Read the 50+ funniest dad jokes ever. Here, you will find some really funny jokes about dad, to make you laugh and have a better day. Let’s see the coolest and funniest dad jokes you can find, on the Internet.
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
- How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!
- “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I got them all cut!”
- Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn’t change color? He had a reptile dysfunction.
- My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!
- I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.
- “How do you get a squirrel to like you?” “Act like a nut.”
- Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
- “Why don’t eggs tell jokes?” “They’d crack each other up.”
- What sound does a witches car make? Broom Broom
- I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
- To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word!
- What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
- What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRAAIINS!”
- Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!
- This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.
- Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “do you know how to drive this thing?”
- “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
- Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
- What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
- “Dad, can you put the cat out?” “I didn’t know it was on fire.”
- The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
- What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
- Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
- How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
- What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
- 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
- How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
- What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
- Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!
- I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide but you can’t run.
- What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!
- I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- The rotation of earth really makes my day.
- Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- I’ve never gone to a gun range before. I decided to give it a shot!
- I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
- I used to hate facial hair…but then it grew on me.
- If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
- I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!
- A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
- You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent!
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
- What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don’t wok away from me.
- What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
- What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil.
- I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
- It takes guts to be an organ donor.
- How do lawyers say goodbye? We’ll be suing ya
- I’m thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it’s only holding me back.
- Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament? Live stream.
- Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tale.
- Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants.
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
- Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
- I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks!
- What happens when a frogs car dies? He needs a jump. If that doesn’t work he has to get it toad.
- Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
- Can February March? No, but April May!
I hope you enjoyed the funniest dad jokes list and they brightened a bit your day. You can also check our list of positive quotes and words.
Have a nice day!