The change in your life comes from within and the way your mind reacts. When you decide to make that change the whole world will follow and change with you. You must break the spell of the word “No”. That’s easy to do when you hear the word clearly in your mind. However, most of the time, it’s very difficult to spot these negative thoughts because they are a part of how you think. You are so used to these ideas, that they also became a part of who you are.
It’s of high importance that you decide to change, but can you find these negative patterns in your actions and thinking? If you’d ask your heart what it wants, you would come up with an incredible list of amazing things. However, the next second, your mind will splurge of reasons why any of those things will never happen to you. These negative thoughts are meant to keep you safe, but also to keep you locked in the comfort zone. Always remember that in the comfort zone you can never reach your full potential and desires.
On the following, read the most common negative thoughts that people tell themselves and see if any of them applies to you.
- You believe that people do not change
- There are rigid and obsolete habits that you can’t overcome
- Your mind is creating many obsessions that you struggle with daily
- Almost all the wishes your mind creates can’t be satisfied
- It creates uncontrollable fear when you try to escape or change something
- It makes you believe it’s not normal to have certain thoughts
- You are fooled into believing your needs are immoral or dangerous
You need to take a lot of inner battles because the influence of these negative thoughts is strong and has many faces. To overcome each one of these aspects you must apply the same main principle. To change your life for the better, you must stop doing what you’ve been doing all the time. It might sound very generic, but this is the first step. If you want to be on same frequency level with your soul, you must adopt positive thinking. So, we need to stop for a bit, shake the things up, break walls and patterns in order to transform and rebuild ourselves. It’s important to trigger each one of these negative thoughts and attack it and change it.
Negative Thought #1: People never change
I bet you heard the popular expression: “This is how I am!”. I, personally, am sick of how many times I heard these words. When you confront someone for doing something upsetting or unpleasing, and they tell you that is just a part of who they are and it can’t be changed. These things are precisely the things that prevent you from trusting the people around you. If they do you wrong you are certain they will do it again because it’s a piece of who they are.
The worse part is that is a part of the collective thinking and it will pass a lot of time until we’ll able to break this preconception. This statement sounds logical in moments of frustration, but it keeps you from changing. This idea is so deeply embedded in the mind, that you too believe it.
When you believe that people never change, you locked the cage with everyone and yourself in it. Perhaps, deep down you believe you can change, but you have doubts about the rest of the world. The same might believe each person sitting next to you. So, everything is nothing but a chain of distrust and suspicion. If anyone will stand up and shout, “Let’s change ourselves!”, they will be greeted with hostility.
From the perspective of your soul, none of these affirmations are true. People change constantly, with each moment and each experience. Our mood is changing, our feelings and ideas change too. This idea that you never change is the first big obstacle to achieving your goals. If we never change, we would have still lived in the paleolithic.
- Observe how your ideas and feelings keep changing all the time
- Encourage each change that is coming from the people around you
- When you catch yourself attached to a fixed idea, stop
- If someone gives a counter-argument, don’t block the idea, reflect on it
- Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes from time to time
- Don’t block any small change you notice in you or others
- Try to be more flexible and adaptable
- Don’t take pride in being right
- Dig into the desired subject without listening to negative opinions
Negative thought #2: You are the prisoner of your own habits
We know what is like to live day by day doing the same things. It feels like we’re hamsters running on a wheel, over and over again. Our incapacity of thinking otherwise is dominating our lives. The habit is what makes a couple argue on the same subjects every day. We indulge in sedentarism and in the cycle work-home-work-home because it feels this is everything we know. We prefer to do what we’ve been doing our entire life because we dislike the changes in our lifestyle. If you don’t include these habits into the negative thoughts category, you might think this is a shortcut that puts the mind on auto-pilot.
Habits are safe for the mind because we do what we always do. But for the evolution of the spirit and personality, habits are the poison. Like Albert Einstein said “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.“. So you can’t expect your life to improve if you hold tight to your old habits. Remember that you were not born with any of the habits you have now. You learned each one of them with time, so you can learn new and better habits to replace the old and obsolete ones.
- Don’t fight against your bad habits. Look at it as if it belongs to someone else
- Ask your mind how did you build that habit
- Write a list of all the benefits that you get from maintaining that habit
- Be sincere! Ask yourself if you stuck to this habit because you were afraid of change
- If you feel like you are a victim, ask yourself who put you in that position. Was this an easier way of escaping responsibility?
- Find a better habit that will replace the old one. Remember that any new habit needs at least 20 days to become a part of your positive thinking.
- Be patient with yourself!
Negative thought #3: You can’t run from obsessions
It’s a common belief nowadays that obsessions are nothing more than mental diseases. However, obsessions are negative thoughts that keep you afraid and doing the same thing over and over again to feel in control. You believe you are in control when you obsess over being safe, keeping yourself healthy or obsessing over money. But the fact is you are controlled by the fear of getting sick, spending money or being stuck in traffic. So, your mind overthinks and obsesses over every small thing. Don’t believe that these obsessions are immoral or illogical. Think about all those people who obsess over money, revenge, unrequited love, money or ambitions. These are accepted ideas in our society.
On the other hand, for our soul, these thoughts are an impediment. We become prisoners of our own mind and we’re no longer free to express and think.
- Don’t fight with the repetitive thoughts because they will grow stronger
- When people around you tell you that you keep repeating yourself, believe it
- Don’t assume you must win all the time or to be the first at doing something
- Stop bragging being consistent just for the sake of saying it
- If you believe you are the prisoner of obsessions ask yourself what you are afraid of
- Try to be rational and question your negative thoughts
- Don’t defend your preconceptions
- Stress is a major cause of obsessing, so try to reduce it to feel better
- Use meditation to relax your mind and reduce fixed ideas
Negative thought #4: Desires can’t be stopped
The desires that keep coming back like a boomerang are similar with the obsessions. But this time the trigger is different because you seek pleasure and you’re not dominated by fear. If you want, these unstoppable desires could be called dependencies. It’s a habit in your mind that will always choose the same thing over anything else. It’s ok to be consequent in your choices, but this will put an obstacle in the way of your experience and improving lifestyle.
If you want to eat only chocolate and refuse to eat anything else, you succumb to a desire. Instead of eating a variety of foods, you eat only one and risk to alter your health. Your mind tricks you into believing you can’t have it any other way.
- When you feel the lust try not to make a decision
- Instead of thinking you can resist it or give in try doing something else. Take a walk or do a different activity. Postpone the moment and shift your negative thought. Build a positive mind by finding a distraction.
- Don’t fight the lust. Understand that you are only erasing a mind behavior.
- When you feel like giving up, accept your feelings
- Don’t refuse yourself a lust. If you do this, you can’t get enough of something you fought yourself to have, in the first place.
- Dig deep in your mind. Find what is the thing you are trying to replace using your lust, is it love, comfort or security?
- Listen to your soul needs. When you fulfill these needs, your mind will stop demanding body pleasures.
- Celebrate each moment you forgot about your desires. Any small step is important and it’s a sign you are stronger.
Negative thought #5: Fear makes you a prisoner
The negative thoughts use fear as chains. An important step to building positive thinking is to escape your fears. Fear is fooling you into believing you are under immediate threat, at any times. The smallest things become fearful monsters. Your mind will even create its own monsters to keep you leashed. Most of the time, fear is only in your head.
From your soul perspective, you are always safe. If you ever feel threatened, you must analyze the danger and get rid of it: run or fight. It’s normal to be afraid of falling, drowning or dangerous animals. But it’s irrational to use these fears to stop climbing a stair or to be afraid of cats. The case is more grave when these fears are reflected on the daily lifestyle. When you are afraid of the dark in your home or you are afraid to make a call or to see certain people in a meeting. In these cases, the fear becomes a phobia that keeps you from going on with daily chores.
- Stop fighting your fears
- When you are relaxed, call in mind your fears and analyze them
- The fear is very convincing, but it doesn’t mean it’s right.
- Sometimes, fears turn into obsessions. Assure yourself that you are not fooled by repetitions.
- Delete all the fears in your life. Instead of worrying about it, do activities that will make you feel more courageous
- Stay alert when fear is infiltrating your thoughts. Maintaining positive thinking by not looking for reasons to be afraid
- Don’t blame yourself. Even the heroes are afraid. It’s what you do with it, that it counts.
- Be patient! Pat yourself in the back every time you suppressed a fear.
Negative thought #6: “Bad” thoughts are immoral and dangerous
It’s a common belief that you should never have negative thoughts like anger, guilt, shame or resentment. Many people don’t even want to look them in the face. Refusing to have these thoughts and repressing them will not remove them from your mind. They will only go lower in your unconscious mind and wait. Having positive thinking doesn’t mean you should block any bad thoughts. In time, your mind will feel like your own enemy. This will create a powerful disrupture in your thoughts and feelings.
When you are in harmony with your mind and soul, you understand these negative thoughts will pass as they came. They don’t stick to your mind because your mind is limitless. When you detach from the impulse of being controlled by fear, anger, jealousy or despair, your mind is free.
- Understand the difference between having a bad thought and applying it
- Don’t identify with your thoughts, you are not anger, nor shame.
- Learn to accept
- Don’t blame other people for what they think
- Also, don’t create a false self-image.
- Enjoy the variety of thoughts in your mind. A free mind should be appreciated, not condemned
- If you think God will judge you for your thought, stop it. You are judging yourself, not God.
Negative thought #7: Your needs are not forbidden or dangerous
All the needs we feel are normal. When your mind is entering the room, any need might feel like a danger. If you are obsessed with losing weight, eating a chocolate bar can feel dangerous. When you love someone, you can’t tell them because you fear they might reject you. You have this conception that your need for love or affection might be perceived as a negative thing. When someone has forbidden intimate desires, nobody understands that a need for affection, hug, and appreciation has been buried deep down inside.
- Don’t judge yourself.
- Your personal demons will keep getting worse if you are ashamed of your feelings and needs.
- Don’t overlook your needs for the sake of society’s opinion.
- You are not a bad person because you have needs and desires.
It’s not easy to change the negative thoughts into positive thinking. However, with each small step you can change your life for the better and unleash potentional you never thought you are capable of.